The Chronicles of a VBG (Voluptuous Brown Gurl)

"I know I don’t need someone. I know I am capable and with every bit of my being that I’m okay, my body, myself, that I can live forever with the blood and family I’ve been granted. The difference remains I just don’t want to. " ( Kris from the blog Not A Girl, Not Yet A Wino) And the lovely Joy Denalane sings its perfectly in "Sometimes Love" Maybe love don't make the world go round But it's love that makes the ride worthwhile So let patience lead you until it's found Cause we're all equipped to walk that mile Said we're all equipped to walk that mile  Rarely have I come across my inner rumblings so well articulated until very recently.  Perhaps it was I who was unclear about how or what needed to be said but I've got it now.

I don't normally get very upset about celebrity comings and goings as their lives have little relation to my own.  There are a few I remember: Elvis because he died on my 11th birthday and for the better part of the last 34 years that's been a big story on MY big day; Michael Jackson of course; and Bernie Mac comes to mind as well. But I was stunned and numbed upon hearing the death of my favorite rapper of all time: Heavy D .  Oh my goodnes, I LOVED me some Dwight Errington Myers aka Heavy D.  He seemed just an all around great package - cute, great dancer, non-apologetic for being the Overweight Lover, and pretty clean rapper who talked around sex in a fun "20-something" way which is just what we were when he burst on the scene over 2 decades ago. His song Black Coffee was my anthem in the 90s. Any time I've heard it as part of an "old school jam" it always escalated a certain pride in all this brown voluptuousness. My 14 year old even knows th...

Omar Khayyam summed it up. My blog description says that finding the perfect red wine is an objective of mine but I've yet to mention it in any post thus far. Well that's not because I haven't been trying, to the contrary the past few months have been all about exploration.  And I've come across some nice ones.  My preference is red wines as the taste and feel are bolder - a description I hope applies to me as well.  My definition of sweet is just that - I'm not yet am not able to enjoy a wine with greater than 12.5% alcohol...and though I know it is frowned upon by wine critics and sommeliers, I like my red wine chilled. I traveled to the Iberian peninsula (fancy talk for Portugal and Spain) in 2001 and though I was a bonafide non-drinker at the time, wine was served at every meal except breakfast.  I embraced the philosophy of "when in rome do as Romans do" when traveling so drink I did. (Yes I WILL be smoking some hash next time I go to Amasterdam...

In an attempt to spend some time together and unburden my Mom a wee bit by being her chauffeur du jour, I accompanied her on hospital visits with my Dad's nearly 90 year old stepfather and her younger sister this week.  Unfortunately since my Dad's sudden illness and death in late August, she's been to the hospital nearly every week with perhaps one exception to visit someone, usually my Aunt E, who has been in and out the hospital about 4 times just in the last 2 months. On Tuesday, Wednesday and part of today my Mom actually had 2 sisters in the hospital! It is both fortunate and not so that she's been so preoccupied visiting the sick, she's not had a ton of time to think about her life as an aggrieved widow - at least not during the day. The two patients could not have been more different.  We found Pop about to begin his therapy session, giddy to try whatever the therapist asked of him. He told us a story that was barely audible through his incessant laughte...

About 6 weeks ago, feeling fabulous and flirty after an awesome day cruise to St Michaels, MD and dressed in the prettiest, girliest fuschia birthday dress that hugged my ‘girls’ sublimely and earned me beaucoup compliments, I took a sexy new pic of me and posted it on my online dating profile. This summer that website became my portal to online dating as I refused to fork over dime to (not) meet someone. In my little slice of PA, when I’ve chosen to peruse online dating sites, I generally get one of 2 results…total silence or guys reminiscent of rednecks (trying to be nice here) who are just curious to bang a black chick. I’m not profiling that’s just been my experience. I stopped being curious a very long time ago. To broaden the spectrum of men I might genuinely be interested in and they me, I listed myself as a Baltimore resident. I'm a native and Lord knows I spend enough time there on a weekly basis to have dual citizenship. A Baltimore zipcode is accessible clear th...

So after nearly 5 years of driving by and wondering what it's like?!  I decided to try out a new park a few miles from my house.  Turned out to be an awesome idea.  My half marathon is coming up in 17 days and so far my farthest distance on "the big browns" aka my legs has been 6.5 miles.  I was really starting to wonder if I truly am capable of finishing the race in the time-frame allotted - 5.5 hours.  Cape Horn Park has a loop that is a little over 1.1 miles and I managed to make it around 9 times which put me in striking distance of the 10.25 mile course preview I missed on Saturday. I managed to jog about 2 miles within the first 6 and despite what the Wii Fit Plus said - I can't possibly have jogged 5 miles previously.  I know the concrete path is a different surface than my living room floor but there was no freaking comparison. Brutal is the only word that comes to mind, I almost thought about giving up on the race completely.  I kept thin...

This year signaled the passage of more folks I was personally acquainted with than at any other time I can recall.  My pal Diana's groom of 27 years, Ted, died in Spring.  Then in Summer, the 18 year old newly graduated brother of one of my daughter's best friends, then my beloved Dad, the Mother of a good family friend, and today as we embarked on our evening walk, I had the unsettling task of being present when my exercise partner, Annie, learned that her Dad had passed away. Witnessing those tears and anguish with no way to assuage the sorrow is so mentally draining.  You know that their lives will never, ever be normal again not in the way they knew "normal" - with it's familiar scenery, voices, and rhythms. Only time will help memories become sweeter, sorrow less intense, and new patterns forge to suit a new reality - life without that someone so dearly loved. It has not quite been a month since my Dad died but time has moved so slowly it feels as if it ...