Sunday, June 19, 2011

THIS MUCH I KNOW IS TRUE

This past February,  I began a blog intending to detail my conversion to veganism which has turned into a guilty reversion to omni-eating of late but I've not thrown the towel in yet on that. Anyway by April it was clear that i had much more to talk about than just what I was eating but I wasn't sure what direction to take.  Intuitively I knew 2011, would be a year of major transformation for me. One of the biggest took place a mere 2 weeks ago when I joined the ranks of the unemployed. Since I do believe that my words have power, I prefer to say that I am in-between careers because at age 44 my present lack of a steady 9 to 5 is indeed temporary barring my marriage to a very rich suitor or winning Powerball. Can't figure out which of the two is more unlikely, probably the former since to my knowledge I don't normally traverse the circles of the very rich but I pass an outlet selling lottery tickets everyday.

I'd spent the last nine years, yes I said nine - neuf - nueve - tessa - pick a language 11 months shy of a decade at a job that I absolutely loathed from the very first day for a variety of reasons I don't care to get into now. With that experience in my rear-view by a mere 2 weeks, this much I know is true to quote Oprah - no paycheck is worth the many damning compromises to spirit, time, talent, and ethics one makes by staying where you are neither best served nor serving your best. When I realized the door was closing on this period of my life,  I was far from being horrified. Honestly, I felt and still feel an amazing sense of calm and relief despite daily reportings that the job market is way beyond difficult and abuzz with millions of new college grads.

I am the sole provider for my newly promoted high school freshman with a mortgage, car note and I possess neither an advanced degree nor a bevy of contacts with whom I can call in favors. Yet I am optimistic that despite such long odds this is indeed the right time for me to change course and propel myself forward. There are new avenues out there that need to be explored - by me!! And now I do have a sense of urgency not felt before that I have to get it right this time - there just is no more time for 5 or 9 year detours. In fact all I know today is I want to work for a social concern that addresses global poverty and/or environmental awareness issues, that I'd like to be able to travel (internationally) a few times a year to get that job done... and blog but above ALL I want to love going to work everyday.  So today with a spanking new natural haircut (another major transformation for me) the VBG starts blogging about finding not just the best vessels for using her gifts to make a difference in the world but finding herself as well.....in the words of Banderas - THIS IS YOUR LIFE, VBG. CARPE DIEM!!

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